dukkelisa

Work has been so incredibly stressful. We are in a major financial crush and at the point of thinking there is a possibility the school may not continue. As both my husband and I both work at the school, we have all our apples in the same basket. During the career path discussions, teachers commit to the next school year or not. We are losing 5. A member dropped off the board. To add to the upheaval, we discover an ex disgruntled employee is doing damage by telling parents we are folding. I have never worked for a more ethical, more fair and extremely talented and wonderful director than the one who founded this school. Bad Apples trying to bring down what they can’t own.

Anyways, the stress is overwhelming. I have been in extreme exhaustion mode. I am really beginning to understand the effect that stress has on my body. I get sick. I get exhaustion to the point of the inability to think clearly and move. I was so looking forward to this weekend and the item I had bought on ebay to arrive so I could work on it and divert my attention. But it did not arrive. I contact the seller and ask when they sent it. They hadn’t yet. What? You have my money for 10 days and I have nothing? Bad Apple.

Daughter tells us she is moving to Hawaii with her husband and the boys. I will not likely see my grandsons again for another 3-5 years. STRESS spelled with caps. We may not have jobs in the next year, let alone try to save for a trip to such a destination.

I had one day this week that I had forgotten my lunch and ended up feeling so sick from not eating. I am wondering if I ought to be tested for diabetes? I felt so good doing low carb and then I grabbed a ramen soup packet when I was late, and got sick from that too (wheat). I keep cycling in this sickness mode that I am determined to break. You’d think I was having problems with overeating, but I haven’t. I can hardly eat when I am like this. It’s like my body is rejecting everything. Yet, of all crazy things, I feel as though I have gotten LARGER! I am as round as an apple and my stomach is hard and round, my fingers and feet are swollen. My sodium intake has not changed. we eat the same foods day in and day out. What the H*ll is going on? Is stress THAT damaging to the body?

Today is my re-grouping day. Concentrate on pleasant things, work on low carbing, and maybe a long hot soak in a bubble bath.